New Year's

I don't understand New Years.  I mean, I understand that it is the end of one year, and the beginning of another.   But I don't understand why we celebrate and make a big deal about it.  And this is compounded by New Year's resolutions.

I asked my husband about this once, and he said that people like New Years' because it's a fresh start, a new beginning.  But here's the thing:  Yes, today starts a new year.  February 1st will start a new month.  And January 4th will start a new week.  (Interestingly, February 1st will also start a new week).  And January 2nd, will start a new day.

And this is why I don't do New Year's resolutions.  Lamentations 3:22-23 says that God's mercies are new each morning.  And honestly, the way I read those verses, shows that God's mercies are ever-refreshing.  When I fight with my husband, I don't  say "sorry, I'll try to be nicer next year."  When I started feeling out of shape, I didn't put off getting fit until the next year.  And when I missed a save playing soccer, or a pass playing volleyball, I didn't say, "oops.  I'll be better next season."  Thankfully, I had coaches who pushed me to not even say, "oops.  I'll do better next game."  It was always, "I'll get the next save."  "I'll get the next pass."  I'll do better from now on.  From right this second.

Change doesn't have to start at the next year.  Or the next big marker in your life (after we move, after we have kids, after we get out of debt...).  Change starts whenever you want it to!  It starts whenever you start to make change happen.  I played viola for the first time in close to three years last night.  And it wasn't because it was a New Year.  It was because I was tired of listening to myself say "I should get around to doing that sometime."

So don't ask yourself, "what am I going to do differently this year?"  Ask yourself, "what am I going to do differently TODAY?"  and then keep asking yourself that, every day.  (Bonus:  smaller, shorter goals are easier to achieve. :) )

God's Not A Genie

A few weeks ago, some of our guys went to an anti-drug and tobacco rally.  And as with most youth conferences, there were all sorts of give-aways and prizes and drawings.  We asked him how it was, and he said, "terrible.  I didn't win anything." We asked him a few times what was interesting, what he learned trying to get him to talk about the whole point of the conference, but all he'd talk about was the process he didn't win and the coupons he did get. And I rolled my eyes at how he had missed the whole point of the conference.

More recently, he began talking about how, despite being recently saved, he wants nothing more to do with God, because God doesn't answer his prayers, like how he really wanted to win those door prizes.  Now perhaps he was just in a bad mood that evening (which he very much was when he said that), but at the same time, maybe he really meant it.  But all the same...admit it, you just rolled your eyes (I know I did) at how shallow that is.  

Coming from a well-grounded Christian family, and being firmly rooted in knowledge of God's word, I know that God's not as interested in these details and minor events as we are.  God doesn't care if we win a dirt bike as a door prize, or drive a Ford or a Chevy. 

I almost want to say, "except...what if He does?", but that's not where I mean to go with this.  What hit me about all of this, was how quickly I rolled my eyes at the shallowness of his frustration and prayer requests.  And quite honestly, I didn't make the connection until today, but how often do we do this?  And before you ask, no, I don't pray for door prizes or a nice car either, and I don't know many (or any) adults who do.  But I do know many adults who pray for health, for money (to pay the bills), for stresses in their lives to go away.  And I also know a lot of people who pray for these things, and then get mad at God when their health fails, when money runs tight, when things stay stressful.  ...And isn't that just as shallow?  

Now, I DON'T necessarily mean that we shouldn't pray for those things.  But I DO mean that we should be ready to accept whatever answer God has for those requests.  And even more importantly, we should also be praying, even more earnestly, for the big-picture things.  

And of course, I say that quite easily, but I promise my prayer list looks quite different...lots of little "only affects my life" things.  Seems the big-picture things just don't come to my mind often.  Which begs the question, what ARE the big-picture things?

- our government, and its leaders: that they would stand up for what is right, and  make decisions

      that will most benefit our country as a whole.

- our country/society: that we'd return to good values and moral sense.

- missionaries, all over the world:  that they would have an effective ministry, find rest and peace to    continue, and be able to reach everyone they can for Christ.

stuff

If Jesus is all I want, why do I have so much stuff?  This is something I've been thinking about lately.

I posed this question to my husband the other day.  His response was that we, even as Christians, have bought into the "American Dream".  My retort:  But we're not Americans; we're Christians.

Jesus once said that it was easier for a rich man to go through the eye of the needle than it was for him to go to heaven.  I spent so much of my life thinking that it must be impossible for rich people to go to heaven, then, because how on earth could a camel get through the eye of a needle?  Later, I learned what this really meant:  The needle was a big gate into Jerusalem.  At night, they would close it, but leave a smaller gate open ("the eye of the needle").  If a traveler came through at this time, he would have to take ALL of his luggage off of his camel, and the camel would have to essentially crawl through the gateway.  Ahh.  Now I see - tough, but not altogether impossible.

I notice that just about every time I've heard this passage preached on lately, they always make the same comment:  "this doesn't mean you have to get rid of all your stuff."  But what if it does?

I've been thinking about how much stuff we (my husband and I) have lately.  And honestly, if you looked at our apartment, you probably wouldn't think we have a lot of stuff.  You might be right.  We spent 3 years sharing a (separate from each other) dorm room with someone else - minimizing stuff and maximizing space was essential.  (We could each fit all of our stuff into our own car at this point.)  When we got married, we moved into a one bedroom, less than 500 sq. ft apartment.  We had sold some of our college stuff (dorm room fridges, for example), and gotten some new stuff (like a couch and a table), but let me tell you - space was CRAMPED in that place.  Nathan's mom sent us home from one visit with a box of stuff once and I about had a meltdown about where we were going to fit it.

Now - we live in a two bedroom apartment.  I haven't actually measured out the area, but I'd bet it's at least twice as big as our last apartment.  It's WONDERFUL!  And I've been in some other houseparent's apartments - same area, way less space.  We probably have no more than half of what they've crammed into their living room.  And yet ...we still have so much junk.  We've got some pillows and blankets in a box that we never even unpacked - proof that we don't need or use them.  We have so much stuff in our house, even unpacked, that we don't use, and quite frankly, don't need.

If Jesus is all I want, then why do I have so much junk? Well, here's my point:  Maybe I don't have as much of Jesus as I want, because I've got so much stuff I don't want. ...Maybe I don't have as much of Jesus as I need, because I've got so much stuff I don't need.

To those pastors (or speakers; to be fair, I know one of the ones who said this was a our SGA chaplain - and not even a Bible major) who say that you don't have to get rid of all your stuff:  I get where you're coming from.   You don't HAVE to get rid of all your stuff to be able to go to heaven; it's about making sure your priorities are right.  Understood.

But maybe we need, if nothing else, that challenge to get rid of all our stuff.  Maybe we need that heart-check to see if our priorities are right.

I don't know about you, but if Jesus is all I want, then I don't need so much stuff.

April 4, 2014

A lesson in God's grace and mercy, from Hollywood.  (Note:  this post might have spoilers about Captain America:  The Winter Soldier)

So, last Friday (the date of this post, even though I'm writing it a week later), we went to the drive in movie theater.  (the double feature this time:  Captain America:  The Winter Soldier, and Frozen).  It was a good time - Nathan and I had a lot of fun getting down there, and the movies were good (we had fun singing along to Frozen), AND we had gotten our house cleaned up earlier in the day, so I was feeling pretty good about that too. :)  

Nathan and I noted that there are a lot of movies lately that have some really good plots and plot twists.  I mean, I know everyone's already been raving about the definition of love given in Frozen, but that's because it's true.  (Along with the exemplary demonstration of love in the movie - all over the place!).  Also, the surprise ending in Frozen...man, that got me even knowing what was going to happen.  But it was in Captain America, that I was really struck with a reminder of how we should treat others.

(spoilers from this movie may follow, depending on how picky you are about knowing what happens ahead of time.)

In Captain America, they're fighting to shut down a project that "will eliminate terrorists before they become a threat."  Now, when they said that, I was on board with it.  Particularly with all the stuff with Al Qaeda in our country (fairly) recently, I thought, "so if we know they're up to something, but we don't know what, we can go ahead and just end it, because if their plan gets all together and going, it's not going to be good."  Sounds good.  BUT, then come to find out what they meant was, they looked up everyone, checked out their jobs, history, past interactions with SHIELD, so on and so forth, and would eliminate anyone who might become a threat (including people who were currently working for SHIELD).  

Man, that really got me.  And after thinking about it, I realized why I was against it.  It's because they were essentially taking away people's free will.  They were punishing people for choices they hadn't made, and choices that they may never make.  And that's what's wrong with it - is that they were being punished for choices that they might not ever make.  If you take away that opportunity to screw up, yeah, you'll have a perfect society, but you also have no freedom.  (And freedom, even freedom to make poor choices, is an important part to both America and Christianity).  

And, that's what I thought about from watching Captain America.  Hope movies we can learn from like this keep coming! :D  

Let me know what other lessons you've learned from movies (or if you missed the pictures on the blog.  or whatever else you want me to know.  or just say hi!)

March 28, 2014

Wow, it has been a long time.  Well, update on the Ranch front:  things are going well.  We've had a lot of changes in population.  And that's Ranch-wide, not just our cottage.  We've gotten a lot of new boys.  In fact, the population in our cottage has gone from 2 residents, to 5, and then landed at 3 (for now), and in the midst of all that, we've had a boy who's been visiting every other weekend or so.  (so yes, we got all the way up to 6 kids in our cottage one weekend - ack!)  And then, because of a home pass, this weekend we're down to one kid (for today, at least).  And that's probably the best sum-up of Ranch life - always interesting, and never predictable.

Of course, this busy-ness has kept Nathan and I on our toes - usually we pretty much just sleep or watch TV on our weekends off.  Actually, come to think of it, we've kept pretty busy our past few weekends off (maybe that's why we feel so busy while we're on duty!).  We've gone to see shows in Branson, hungs out with friends, and last weekend - we were crazy and saw 5 movies in one weekend (Muppets Most Wanted, Peabody & Sherman, The Lego movie (not for the first time), God's Not Dead, and Divergent ).  Though, in our defense:  two of those were shown as a double feature at a drive-in movie theater - two movies for $5/person!  you can't pass that up, even if you have already seen one of them (...more than once. :) ).

And despite that busy-ness, I've really been convicted of laziness lately.  It seems that I'll get up, create a list of things I should do (and not even a terribly ambitious one!  just like, excercise, shower, clean the house (for at least 5 minutes), and spend time with God.)  And a 3 hour nap, two TV shows, an unexpected errand, and a pity party later - I've done none of it, the kids are coming home, and I won't get a chance to do it.  Isn't that terrible?  Or maybe it's not laziness, maybe it's self-discipline.  Either way, I need to step up my game and spend my time doing more important things.  (I mean, I DO love Late Night with Seth Meyers, but...at the end of the day, does it matter more if I've watched all of his shows, or exercised daily?  And at that, does it matter more that I've exercised daily, or spent time in God's word daily?  And unfortunately, the way I spend my time shows that none of those are very important, but Seth Meyers is up there.)

But the two big things I'm excited about right now are this weekend - we're taking everyone at the Ranch up to a theme park for Christian concert/rally thing.  (I'm SUPER proud of my husband for finally riding a roller coaster, but I know not to try to squeeze much more out of him (at least just yet ;) ).  But thankfully, one of the boys in our cottage (not just at the ranch, but in our cottage!!) is excited to go on all the crazy flip-upside down, go-backwards, roller coasters.  So guess who gets to do it with him (points at self and mouths, "ME." :D)  Also, SOON I will finish a quilt I'm making for a friend.  It's star-wars themed and will bring lots of masculinity to his home (which has two young girls, his wife, and himself, so it's in need of an extra dose of masculinity), and I'm super excited to finally be able to give it to him.

And...I guess that's pretty much my life right now.  Thanks for checking in.

February 3, 2014

So, stuff's been pretty chill as far as Ranch life goes.  Our transportation load got really easy, because some appointments we'd been having off-campus got moved to on-site, so that was VERY very nice.  Also, Nathan and I were going to have to make an out-of-town pick up on Friday, and that got canceled too.  Prayers requested for the issues surrounding WHY it was canceled, but it may actually have been a good thing, because we got hit pretty hard with a snowstorm yesterday, so the related drop-off today might have been tricky, or perhaps even impossible. 

But we've had a good weekend. Friday we went bowling with our boys, and while not flawless, it was a pretty good experience.   Really, the biggest drawback to it was that we were planning on going right after school, so...get to the bowling alley around 5:00.  Instead, we had forgotten about an appointment, so we left around 6, and had to get dinner first.  Also, I'm used to blacklight bowling starting around 10 or 11 (of course, those bowling alleys also stay open til 1 or 2 in the morning).  Instead, blacklight bowling here starts around 8.  And...well, that's pretty much why we only bowled one game.  Well, they were getting a little antsy prior to that, but that pretty much ruled out any hope we may have had at getting them to sit still through other people's turns.  But really, it was an overall good experience.
My amazement yesterday was that it started snowing (barely) when we left for church yesterday, and got a few inches (at least one by the end of Sunday School), and school was canceled for two days before we went to bed.  Lots of snow here (this is snow day...11 or 12 for them?).

But snow days aren't all bad.  While maybe too much TV, we've had a good day.  I got to take this picture in the afternoon (because I thought it looked like a giant crack in the sky).  Also, I started a challenge with one of our boys:  that I can do all of his next discovery thing in his AWANA book (7 pages/sections) in half the time he can.  He's smart enough he could beat me like nothing, but he's not terribly motivated to work on it.  Of course, with the upcoming Bible Quiz, that's pretty much the point of the challenge:  to motivate him.  Anyways, I guess we'll see how that goes. 

Anyways, I guess that's about everything that's going on around here.

I took this picture because I thought it looked like there was a crack in the sky.  (Though, it doesn't quite look like that as I look at it right now...:/ )

Jan 29, 2014

Man, I've had a lot of thoughts running through my head lately. Some of it's been getting our house organized (or namely, our kitchen table cleaned off - that's where EVERYthing seems to accumulate), some of it's been how to spend our money (I was pretty okay with our plan to pay off student debt before I realized exactly how much interest sucks), and so forth and so one, and some of it's been wrestling with deep theological/personal issues.

I mean, this goes right along with how to spend money.  One of my friends recently posed the question "is it okay for Christians to be wealthy?"  (or how much money is it okay for Christians to have, I forget exactly how she worded it.) Now, in a broad sense, when you put it like that, I know my answer.  But when it comes down to how I use my money?  well, then it starts to get a little fuzzier.

A perfect example (and the one that I've been struggling with lately).  Around...I dunno, October maybe? I decided I wanted a tablet, so I set up a way for me to get one.  Then, just after Thanksgiving, I found a good deal on one, so I just went ahead got one a little preemptively (I thought it was on sale, but it wasn't.  But it WAS a really good deal, and I'm really happy I bought one, so it kinda works out.)

But, around the time that happened, my husband decided he needed a new computer (his computer kept shocking him).  So, he got a really nice new computer, which, to be fair, he probably needed more than I know or will admit.  But, when he started complaining about his computer, I started disliking mine.  I found a pretty cheap solution to mine, decided to try it, and it started working really well.  :)  And yet, I still wanted to get a new computer.

And then the shame set in - all of the nice things we have, not wanting for food, for clothes, not shivering in the middle of the night....and yet I'm upset because my computer's running too slow.  Do I really want to spend $300 or $400 on a new computer, when mine still works pretty well?  Am I really that spoiled?  Is a new computer really worth it, especially compared to all of the people world-wide who NEED that $300 for food?  I'm just not sure.

See the tape?

And then, shortly after Christmas - things got a bit more complicated.  While cleaning up our kitchen, I accidentally knocked my laptop off the kitchen table.  When that happened, the battery popped out, and some little pieces broke off (the battery won't stay in on it's own).  To which I thought, "oh, well.  I guess that makes my decision for me - now that my computer's actually broken."  Of course, not long later, I realized that this was actually pretty easily fixed - I can either use my computer on a flat surface, where the battery can't fall out, or leave it plugged in all the time.  OR, true to how I was raised, I could tape it in place, which has worked pretty well.  

And so it's back to square one - should I, or should I not, get a new computer?  Is that really how I should be spending my money?  and I just don't know.